It's Important That You Read This
By Jimmy Conrad
Due to my inclusion on the Gold Cup roster for the U.S. Men’s National Team, I will be leaving JC.com Headquarters until the conclusion of the tournament. I have a great staff at my disposal to pick up the slack when I’m gone, however, I have put a few things in place to ease my transition from head honcho to innocent bystander. For instance, I have hired former Navy Seal, Randy Thorpe, to shadow Resident Bully/Staff Writer Know-It-All Jones so that he continues to operate on his best behavior without my relentless attentiveness AND I reluctantly gave up my spot in the 22nd annual JC.com Table Tennis Tournament which, I’ll be honest, brings a tear to my eye. Ever since the movie “Forrest Gump,” I love table tennis. Those examples aside, the contributions from everyone on the payroll should remain the same, if not more, and I’m positive you won’t even know that I have (temporarily) left the building.
Now, before I go, I want to take a moment and thank the staff for throwing me a very enthusiastic “Good Luck” going away party. The piñata of Kenny Chesney was a nice touch since our disdain for him here at Headquarters has been well documented (link) as was playing Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Intern (You’re a good sport Todd Stevens but you might want to think about a tetanus shot.). They even gave me a card, which they all signed, with comments ranging from the obligatory “Knock’em dead” to “They still call players over the age of 30 into the National Team?” After the festivities ended and Janitor Jobe McHenry had finished putting the furniture back in its proper place and sweeping up the rest of the remaining confetti, I left Headquarters feeling like a good time was had by all. It was a great night.
So on that note, I’m leaving, but one more thing needs to be said before I do and it is this: Please remember to come back to the site often and check out what the JC.com Staff is doing in my absence. If, for whatever reason, that isn’t enough to quench your “Jimmy” thirst, (and let’s be honest, how could it?), then check these links out to help you pass the time:
Father’s Day Article About Me And My Dear Ol’ Dad
Recent Magazine Cover (and I say “recent” but what I mean is my ONLY magazine cover)
Radio Show Archives So I Can Lull You To Sleep With My Sultry Voice (click on the Kansas City tab on the left)
Merchandise You Can Buy To Show Your Support (A note about the merchandise: I want to make absolutely clear that everyone understands that every single dollar of profit made of anything you buy goes directly to charity WHICH I will match it dollar for dollar from my own pocket. I know the shirts and sweaters are a little pricey but I promise you it’s for a good cause. A cause called the Child Protection Center in Kansas City, Missouri. If you are interested in helping out, here is the link for more information)
Thank you.
