Pro Versus Con - Was Jimmy's Goal A Goal?
Here's the scenario: We have two employees of JC.Com, Staff Writer Know-It-All Jones and Intern Todd Stevens, battling it out to decide whether the second goal of the Wizards 2-0 Win over the Los Angeles Galaxy a goal by Jimmy Conrad or an own goal by Galaxy forward Edson Buddle?
And here's what transpired:
Pro (Intern Todd Stevens) – Of course it was Jimmy’s goal! His deft touch to elude gigantic goalkeeper Donovan Ricketts bordered on the sublime.
Con (Resident A-hole Know-It-All Jones) – Todd, are you ******* drunk on the Jimmy Kool-Aid again? The slow-motion replay shows that the ball clearly hit the head of the dude that is scoring all kinds of goals this year. That ******* Buddle guy. And he again showed why he went to the World Cup.
Pro (Intern Todd Stevens) – In most instances, I would defer to you since you are one of my superiors but in the spirit of this pro versus con exercise and because I believe it to be true, I find your argument lacking substance. On the television replay, which you’ll have to mute because Wizards color commentator Sasha Victorine decided to leave his paid bias aside to repeatedly state that it was an own goal, it was obvious that Jimmy put himself in a good position to make something happen, which he did with his toe. Jimmy touched it last.
Con (Staff Writer Know-It-All Jones) – In most instances, I think you’re a ******* idiot and this “exercise” is no different. The ball came off of Buddle. He headed it. Ask soccer ******* expert John Roushkolb. He ******* thinks so too.
Pro (Intern Todd Stevens) – I don’t know who John Roushkolb is but I doubt his opinion would make much of an impression on what I think, know, and feel. Jimmy scored and the proof is Major League Soccer giving him credit for his 20th career goal.
Con (Know-It-All Jones) – The only reason that the powers that be gave Jimmy credit for Buddle’s unintentional touch of class is because they like the ******* guy. Nick Garcia wouldn’t have gotten credit for that sh*t.
Pro (Intern Todd Stevens) – Despite your use of intimidating language, there is nothing you can say to refute the facts: The Wizards won a big game on the road against the best team in the league 2-0 and Jimmy Conrad is credited for the second goal in the 70th minute. The result and Jimmy’s goal are now in the books so I guess that means that I win.
Con (K-I-A Jones) – You know what, you ******* butt-kisser? Go **** yourself. I hope you stay living with your mom for the rest of your life.
Following Know-It-All’s last statement, Intern Todd Stevens burst into tears and ran out of the room. After calming down, he said later that he didn’t understand why Know-It-All had to run after him while calling him a “p***y” among other things. Know-It-All refused to apologize and denied any wrongdoing. An internal investigation is ongoing to see if any punishments or fines need to be levied.
