“I wanna be a billionaire so (extremely) bad. Buy all of the things I never had.  I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine.   Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen.” - Travis McCoy (from the song ‘Billionaire’ found on the album Lazarus)

As day broke in Kansas City, there was already a palpable excitement in the air. This friendly pitted two very different sides against each other. On the left-end of the pitch (as seen from the cheap seats), one found a team filled with superstars. These players have played all over the world and were carefully assembled into a cohesive unit by a manager renowned as a master technician. Disparate early development aside, the players have meshed together for the greater good. They play with a swagger and panache. The stadium was abuzz to see them play.

On the other end was a team from somewhere overseas.

My friend Nigel was in town from the greater Dukinfield metroplex, and he was stoked. He chattered away using strange phrases in an odd accent. Before heading to Arrowhead "at the weekend," he watched the pre-game show “on telly.” We stopped for “petrol” just off the “dual carriageway” where we gave the attendant a “tenner.” In the stadium “car park,” we got into a “row” because a “slaphead” “slagged off” “Sir Alex” but got “spawny” when a “bobby” “popped round” in his “panda car” to “suss out” the “wally.” Inside the stadium he purchased a “banger” on which he put “mustard.” Outrageous!

Whilst he was wittering on, the Wizards took immediate control of the match. In the 11th minute, a great sequence of one-touch passing sent Davy Arnaud in on goal. His low, hard shot beat United keeper Ben Amos to the far post. The Wizards and their fans went berserker. Nigel was chuffed.

United pulled even on a penalty kick, but the Wizards went ahead for good in the 42nd minute. A Ryan Smith corner kick was met by the head of Kai Kamara. His driven header struck the bottom of the crossbar and caromed almost directly straight down. A goal was awarded and, once again, the blue-clad masses rocked the stadium.

In the end, it was just a good, fun match. The sides were clapped out from the heat, but everyone seemed to be in good spirits. The overall objectives had been met:

1) The Wizards had tested their mettle versus one of the top teams in the world.

2) United had challenged their young players in adverse conditions and had increased their fitness in the Missouri heat.

3) I finished this match report without mentioning Jimmy Conrad’s expulsion.

4) D’oh!!!

Taking The Lead From The Leadership Style Of North Korean President Kim Jong-il, JC.Com Has Fined Fanista For His Failure To Follow Standard Protocol Following Any Negative Event That Can Disillusion Readers From The Greatness That Is Jimmy Conrad. Fanista's Mere Mention Of "The Incident" Above, However Innocent It May Seem, Will Be Punished Accordingly. To Be His Pen Pal During His Jail Sentence, Please Write To fanista@jimmyconrad.com.

COMMENTS: 1

on 07.28.10 at 2:55 pm jrock wrote:

Where is the JimmyConrad.com ombudsman? This entire article should have focused on our namesakes glorious exit after attempting to brutally murder Dimitar Berbatov.

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