JC.Com Staff Predictions (Brazil v. North Korea)

Staff Writer Know-It-All Jones: “Bwhahahahahaaha.  There’s nothing to predict other than how many ******* goals the North Korean goalkeeper is going to be pulling out of his net.  So suck it, Kim Jong-Il.”

Team America: World Police fan and JC.Com janitor Jobe McHenry doing his best Kim Jong-Il impression:  “The changing of the world is inevitabrrr.  Inevit, inevitabrr.  Things are inevitabrey going to change!  Goddammit, open your ******* ears!”

ESPN Commentator Alexi Lalas:  “North Korea has as much chance to win a game against Brazil as I do having any friends in U.S. Soccer after the relentless bashing I’ve done of the team.”

North Korean legend Pak Do-Ik who scored the winning goal versus Italy in the 1966 competition, which is considered the biggest upset in World Cup history:  “We understand the challenge of being in the group of death with Brazil, Portugal, and the Ivory Coast but under the strict dictatorship of our country, our players have been fed a steady diet of steroids to counter the incredible athleticism of our counterparts.  With these factors in mind, we should win the group.”

JC.Com receptionist Gail Sands:  “They play sports in North Korea?  I thought they just marched around as an army, fed grapes to their leader, and threatened world peace every few months.  Karma tells me that they should lose by ten goals.”

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