Eternal Optimist (Staff Writer JROCK): What’s not to smile about? The U.S. Soccer Federation (USSF) and its president, Sunil Gulati, wanted German legend Jurgen Klinsmann instead of Bradley at the beginning of this World Cup cycle in January 2007. However, since the USSF removed the interim coaching tag after beating rival Mexico in February 2007, Bradley has managed to not only keep his job, highlighted by getting the U.S. to it’s first final in a FIFA competition last summer, but he’s on the cusp of coaching in the biggest sporting event in the world versus the country who invented the sport. He should be wearing a perma-smile.

Pessimistic Pessimist (Staff Writer Know-It-All Jones): He doesn’t lose staring contests with his neighbor’s ******* cat so what makes you think he’s going to do anything but melt people with his death glare?

Eternal Optimist: Because Bradley is getting to coach his own son in a World Cup, which has to be a really special experience for him. So even if he can’t show it outwardly, you know he’ll be smiling on the inside.

Pessimistic Pessimist: But the question is whether he will crack a ******* smile in front of the public during the game, not if he’s going to get ******* high off of his watching his son do what he couldn’t. Whatever, this conversation is pointless because the dude is a ******* robot and if he is programmed not to smile, then he’s not ******* smiling.

Eternal Optimist: I’ve read and seen several pieces on ESPN that have attempted to make Bradley’s stoicism likable. He’s got to be smiling about that in front of someone, right?

Pessimistic Pessimist: Well, I read that the ******* guy had the muscles that form a smile on your face removed because the mere thought of actually enjoying the moment pisses him off.

Eternal Optimist: Then let’s try it from this angle - The people of South Africa appear to be so happy to be hosting the World Cup that their attitude has to rub off on Bradley because from my experiences, mainly in college and with large amounts of alcohol, feeling happy is contagious.

Pessimistic Pessimist: I think what you’re drinking now is the ******* “Bob Bradley Is My Hero” Kool-Aid.

Eternal Optimist: You can disagree with me all you want but there is not a doubt in my mind that when the U.S. scores a goal against England, even Bradley won’t be able to fight the urge to not smile.

Pessimistic Pessimist: If, by some miracle, Bradley does smile versus England, then I’ll give you a hundred bucks and let you kiss my hairy ******* ***.

Eternal Optimist: It’s nice to see that you are at least entertaining the thought that he COULD smile, which means I think I won this argument.

Pessimistic Pessimist: Go **** yourself.

Eternal Optimist: 1-0 Me. Go USA!

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