Hobbitgate

Kansas City, MO(JC.Com) - There are more questions than answers about the Jimmy Conrad overdue edition of The Hobbit. Ms. Althea Starns, an attorney for the Kansas City Missouri Public Library held a press conference on Tuesday to repeat the city's policy on fines and the, in the words of Ms. Starns, "the unfortunate release of very private information about Mr. Conrad."

It appears from leaked information, Mr. Conrad checked out The Hobbit in February of 2008 and the book was returned in January of 2009. When a book is returned to a KCMO library, overdue or not, it is given an informal inspection. The edition Mr. Conrad returned, according to library records, was deemed to be in satisfactory shape and ready to be reshelved. An unnamed library source told JC.Com news that while people read The Lord of The Rings, Mr. Conrad kept giggling through the check-out process. When asked if everything was okay, Mr. Conrad said he had been thinking about something funny and started to laugh. The unnamed source was convinced that Mr. Conrad checked the book out as a gag and never had any intention of reading it. When asked if the unnamed source would go public with his or her 'hunch', the unnamed source said he or she feared of being abducted by aliens and taken to a planet far away.

Why was information, protected by The United States Constitution, leaked to the public? Is there someone at the KCMO library who seeks to settle a score with Mr. Conrad? Did Jimmy Conrad check out a book he had no intention of reading? Did Jimmy Conrad take The Hobbit to a party and pretend to read? Is Jimmy Conrad actually a hobbit himself?

The answers to these questions, and many more, are just days away.