Fantasy Football Draft Results And Preview - Part...
With the 2nd Annual JC.com Fantasy Football Draft complete, each team owner from the pre-determined You Wish You Were As Cool And Handsome As Jimmy Conference will display their team name, projected starters, and a quick summation of why they will be crowned champion this year. The Please Raise Your Children To Be Like Jimmy Conference will be unveiled tomorrow.
THE WISH YOU WERE AS COOL AND HANDSOME AS JIMMY CONFERENCE
TEAM #1
Owner: Receptionist Gail Sands
Team Name: The Garbage Gail Kids
Team Logo: 
Projected Starters:
QB: Matt Schaub – HOU
RB: Maurice Jones-Drew – JAX
RB: Ronnie Brown – MIA
WR: Roddy White – ATL
WR: Vincent Jackson – SD
RB/WR: Eddie Royal – DEN
TE: Kellen Winslow – TB
K: Mason Crosby – K
DEF: Tennessee
Summary: “I think I reached a little with selecting Matt Schaub in the 5th round but I think the rest of my draft was spot on. I have solid running backs, a good, young receiving corps, and a good kicker and defense. Like usual, Know-It-All Jones claims my team is terrible but I think he is a sexist jerk who should be praying his team doesn’t face mine come playoff time. Anyone have a cigarette?”
TEAM #2
Owner: Pianist Matthew Petrosa
Team Name: The New Kids On The Bach
Team Logo: 
Projected Starters:
QB: Aaron Rodgers – GB
RB: Michael Turner – ATL
RB: Marion Barber III – DAL
WR: Calvin Johnson – DET
WR: Braylon Edwards – CLE
RB/WR: Derrick Ward – TB
TE: Dustin Keller – NYJ
K: Ryan Longwell – MIN
DEF: New York Giants
Summary: “This being my first time involved in anything fantasy-related, outside of my unhealthy adoration of Beethoven which I went to counseling for after my mom caught me in the middle of night sleepwalking nude with my tighty-whiteys on my head as I mumbled “I wish I was Beethoven” over and over, I think my team is pretty good.”
TEAM #3
Team Owner: MLS Beat Reporter The Skipper
Team Name: Washington Redskins
Team Logo: 
Projected Starters:
QB: Jason Campbell – WSH
RB: Clinton Portis – WSH
RB: Ray Rice – BAL
WR: Antwaan Randle El – WSH
WR: Santana Moss – WSH
RB/WR: Ladell Betts – WSH
TE: Chris Cooley – WSH
DEF: Washington Redskins
Summary: “I live in the D.C. area, I was born in the D.C. area, and I love the Redskins. I would never cheer against them. **** everyone else. Except, of course, running back Ray Rice from the Redskins archrival, Baltimore Ravens. He was inexplicably left until the 8th round so I snatched him up. I know I’ll be viewed as a traitor by the Redskins faithful but he was left until the 8th round! If they can forgive Mayor Marion Berry for his many indiscretions and the current Washington Nationals for even existing, then they can forgive me.”
TEAM #4
Team Owner: Janitor Jobe McHenry
Team Name: Laying Pipe
Team Logo: 
Projected Starters:
QB: Tony Romo – DAL
RB: Chris Johnson – TEN
RB: Thomas Jones – NYJ
WR: Anquan Boldin – ARI
WR: Marques Colston – NO
RB/WR: Chris Chambers – SD
TE: Owen Daniels – HOU
K: Robbie Gould – CHI
DEF: San Diego Chargers
Summary: “First off, I think The Skipper has drafted the worst team in fantasy football history. I mean, what happens when the real Redskins have a bye week? Second, due to his idiocy and the fact that I drafted after him, he basically handed me the championship. I started bragging as much right after the draft finished about how easy this is going to be for me this year, you know, normal banter in a friendly competition and Know-It-All Jones told me to ‘Shut the **** up and go clean some toilets.’ I hate that guy.”
TEAM #5
Team Owner: Legal Consultant Jean DuBois
Team Name: The Constitutional Amendments
Team Logo: 
Projected Starters:
QB: Drew Brees – NO
RB: Kevin Smith – DET
RB: Darren McFadden – OAK
WR: Andre Johnson – HOU
WR: Roy Williams – DAL
RB/WR: Chad Ochocinco – CIN
TE: Greg Olsen – CHI
K: Jason Elam - DEN
DEF: Philadelphia Eagles
Summary: “I turned down the invite to join in initially because I have never played before but after Know-It-All Jones said that “******* don’t know ****,” I figured why not? What do I have to lose? So like any good lawyer, I did a lot of research to find case history of fantasy teams that have won in the past to minimize my mistakes come draft time and upon reflection, I’ll concede that my running backs are a little thin but everywhere else I’m so good that I think I could sway a jury to believe that overall my team is the best.”
TEAM #6
Team Owner: Staff Writer Umberto Zappia
Team Name: The Baltimore Colts
Team Logo: 
Projected Starters:
QB: Donovan McNabb – PHI
RB: Adrian Peterson – MIN
RB: Jonathan Stewart – CAR
WR: Reggie Wayne – IND
WR: Greg Jennings – GB
RB/WR: Antonio Bryant – TB
TE: Kevin Boss – NYG
K: Nate Kaeding – SD
DEF: New York Giants
Summary: “We are going all the way this year. Why? Because we are a fundamentally sound football club. We play as a unit. We stick with, as I said in the first sentence, the fundamentals. We have every intention of playing one game at a time. We are not going to turn the ball over. We are not going to make stupid mistakes that will hurt our chances of winning. If we don't do all the things listed above; then we will come in something other than first.
