Jimmy Conrad Visits Animal Hospital

By Umberto Zappia

Jimmy 'Captain Amazing' Conrad mistakenly visited St. Mary's Animal Hospital in Ridgeview instead of St. Mary's Hospital in West Palm. The mistake, which has been categorized as 'clerical' has caused great embarrassment inside the Conrad camp.

Sister Mary Sullivan greeted Mr. Conrad in the animal hospital lobby. "He said he came for a visit to lift the spirits of the patients." Sr. Sullivan continued, "We couldn't figure out why he came to an animal hospital. These animals don't watch TV or listen to the radio and they wouldn't know any baseball players."

Jimmy posed for a picture with an asthmatic St. Bernard before he and his photographer Todd Stevens said a quick goodbye and returned to their rented van.

Jimmy told JC.Com news, "The whole thing was rather surreal. I felt badly for the animals, but there wasn't much we could do for them."

Jimmy and his entourage arrived at the proper St. Mary's Hospital an hour late and to little fanfare. Director of Operations, Donald Watson gave them a tour of the grounds and the group stopped in the cafeteria for a quick lunch. Mr. Watson then took Mr. Conrad and photographer Todd Stevens to the ER to meet with patients.

The ER department was receiving patients as quickly as they could, from broken limbs to stroke victims. Staff photographer Todd Stevens: It was really an experience I won't soon forget. I wasn't allowed to take photos, but when I saw the guy come in after the riding lawn mower accident, I thought I was going to pass out.

The two visitors were asked to step outside into the waiting room after the ER department was at capacity.

Mr. Conrad and Mr. Stevens found a snack machine and Mr. Stevens purchased a box of Sugar Babies and a Diet Coke. "Why would you get Sugar Babies, which are all sugar, and then buy a Diet Coke? It doesn't make sense." asked Jimmy. "I am trying to watch my weight," replied Todd. Jimmy continued, "Then why get the Sugar Babies, why not peanuts or nothing at all, just the Diet Coke?" This conversation continued for twenty minutes until Jimmy threw his hands up and the two made their way back to the rented van.